A Novel Beginning...

DANGER IS GREAT JOY

 

     Out of my swirling thoughts it comes to me that it is time to write without regard for the outcome of my words-  “swimming in the story,” as a mentor once called it, and adding the telling of my miraculous journey to the telling of so many others. It is being given the chance of surpassing them only in the complexity and juxtaposition of so many variations of life and persons I feel I have been. Loneliness has been my constant claustrophobic shadow. It is interesting that I would be surprised by that as it was most likely the partial result of my elemental, instinctive and unintended nature to roll over most people in my rhetoric like a fiery vampiric steamroller hurtling into the irresistible pull of a black hole. Yet I always remain surprised. My Delphic Witness Marianne Faithfull would say something about those fragile others being “consumed on the spot,” and heaven knows one can’t really become consumed in conversation after the ashes have already blown away in the wind. Did I mention I find it hard to exist without either Marianne Faithfull or vampires? I find it impossible to exist without making love to someone who is so unfathomably fascinating that they make any deviance unnecessary, unappealing and bland… but onto the story which is difficult because what story is not unfolding in the waking world today? I think the most important stories go on in the sleeping world, pulled from that which sleeps within, and what slumbers in the outward consciousness of our age in the New Millennium unfolding. There are concerns to address both  personal and global, but the externals must be forced to wait until we go deep inside and, hauntingly, too far back. There are demons to be exorcised and ghosts to be swept off of dusty floorboards and out of dim corners- out into the breaking dawn. Even so, I find I still enjoy the company of both too much.