Recognition

As I was reminded by the Universe following a rather powerful meditation and a sense of my own wholeness I have not felt sent pre-Valdemort, that magical other-worldly shiver of recognition has to come with the man or boy there is to be love with. If it ain't there, it won't be there later- and it's not a case of forcing it, or being needy or settling. We just have a lot of love to give and the return has to be equal. We also need something new and fresh to not only provide companionship and friendship, but healthy challenge and a hint of rejuvenation! And FUN!! Exes are exes for a reason, and if the new ones are always "hard" rather than pleasant in terms of the interactions, then it's not right. I realized too this week that the relationship w V. was not one of parity in many ways, but mainly because I would not be dragged down, nor would I ever apologize for trying to lift someone up with my love. Nope- destruction and darkness, so matter how witty or attractive of seductively aloof will never ever bring the happiness that comes from attempting, however imperfectly, to live in the Light. Cancer man was right Scully- "If you can appease a man's conscience (or if he can do it himself) you can always take away his freedom..." Nuff said- Mulder