"Heaven has a road, but no one travels it; Hell has no gate, but men will bore through to get there."

Friday, December 31, 2010


I must second the wise Sam- while I can count up many good new things collected during this past year, they were merely a few scattered coins on the lonely, weary, dark and cold road of 2010 which saw my life, love, money and family vaporized in a puff while football watching queers and latte-sipping yuppies looked upon me in oblivion. While I have retaken hold on my invincible elemental self, lonliness and sorrow remain. But tonight without the coutesy of candlelight or any revelry, I shall take all that has emptied and hurt my heart this year and lock and nail and seal it in it's coffin of endless time with no comfort and force it back down into the black earth which first heaved it up upon my sunny shores and once it can be seen no more, my sunlight will return.

Thursday, December 30, 2010


As I was reminded by the Universe following a rather powerful meditation and a sense of my own wholeness I have not felt sent pre-Valdemort, that magical other-worldly shiver of recognition has to come with the man or boy there is to be love with. If it ain't there, it won't be there later- and it's not a case of forcing it, or being needy or settling. We just have a lot of love to give and the return has to be equal. We also need something new and fresh to not only provide companionship and friendship, but healthy challenge and a hint of rejuvenation! And FUN!! Exes are exes for a reason, and if the new ones are always "hard" rather than pleasant in terms of the interactions, then it's not right. I realized too this week that the relationship w V. was not one of parity in many ways, but mainly because I would not be dragged down, nor would I ever apologize for trying to lift someone up with my love. Nope- destruction and darkness, so matter how witty or attractive of seductively aloof will never ever bring the happiness that comes from attempting, however imperfectly, to live in the Light. Cancer man was right Scully- "If you can appease a man's conscience (or if he can do it himself) you can always take away his freedom..." Nuff said- Mulder

Monday, December 27, 2010

RoPa on Ice

YOUTHFUL in 2011

"You will make all kinds of mistakes;
but as long as you are generous and true
and also Fierce, you cannot hurt the world
or even seriously distress her for she was
made to be wooed and won by youth!"

-Winston Churchill


Lorien/B5- The Shadow War




"In the joy of this hour, I am pleased. For to touch the hand of man- nothing is more important..."


Coop Bot

Friars Court

My wedding and no funerals...



Saturday, December 18, 2010


Big Hurrah for the death of Don't Ask-Don't Tell moments ago, and for the honest, just, sweet, smart, strong and free next generation of gay men/activists who walk into a new world with far less pain, fear, sorrow, anger and baggage than their elders could even conceive of. Blessed be the power of Nature which cannot be denied and the cycle of life which can never be stopped by the frail bigotries of humanity. The rocks do not move, but the rushing waters never stop and in the end, they carve the face of the world!



Give 'em the Oscar too I say!





Friday, December 17, 2010

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Monday, December 6, 2010

Friday, December 3, 2010